FREEMAN, the greatest super hero the world has ever seen, with the amazing ability to do whatever he wills. He can: be as strong as Superman, quick as Flash, hot as the Torch, green as Hulk, as useless as Aquaman, slow as a turtle, smart as Aristotle, artistic like Michelangelo, greedy as Enron, silent as a lady’s fart, attractive like Halle Berry, cool as Jules Winnfield, sing like a bird, teleport his arse, read your mind, be himself, grow a bigger dick, develop some tits, materialize a tree, make some change, be indifferent, heal himself, not heal himself, make money, post pictures of his ex online, feed the starving, clothe the poor, make it snow in West Africa, pollute the waters, clean the air, rape children, turn to steel, go back in time, jump to the future, direct the greatest movie, write the most heartfelt novel, complain and bitch, turn the other cheek, cast the first stone, go hungry, win the Nobel, destroy the UN, nuke Iran, buy whatever he wants, steal whatever he wants, never wear a suit, bring back the dodo, spend eternity on WoW, planet hop, stick a ‘digg this’ button on his site, answer any question, transform into a petunia, remain ignorant, clone a sheep, make a baby, abort a baby, host a talk show, marry a panda, divorce, bully, hunt deer, watch TV, act the fool, get a job, beat an old lady, trade some stocks, keep track of technology, soar like an eagle, be a farmer, download music, disregard these words, help his neighbour, steal his neighbour’s wife, smoke some weed, snort some crack, feel like he is on crack just by thinking about it, fuck a cow, wear a diaper, make the biggest rubber band ball, be humble, take advantage of, allow himself to be humiliated, wear Armani, go shopping naked, promote propaganda, be a victim, chew some gum, turn water to wine, pause the universe, have naughty thoughts, jump out of a black hole, roast marsh-mellows on the sun, change the status of a heavenly body, go on a fast, drink the ocean, die, resurrect, be a saint…

‘not that i can’t, i choose not to’

with great freedom come great responsibilities. are we ready for him?